The Broadway Play
by meeko33905
Summary: Discouraged by Ricky’s constant refusals to let her be in his shows, she decides to give up trying to get into his nightclub acts and sets her sights on getting a part in a Broadway musical.
1. Act One, Scene One

*Disclaimer- I don't own either anything to do with the show "I Love Lucy" or the lyrics to the song "Cielito Lindo" which is used in the first act.*   
  
This is my first attempt at "I Love Lucy" Fan Fic, but I hope you like it.   
  
I LOVE LUCY: The Broadway Play  
  
Act One, Scene One: The Ricardo's Apartment  
  
(Ethel walks through the kitchen door and into the Living room looking for Lucy.)   
  
Ethel: Lucy? Are you up yet?   
  
LUCY: (Off-stage) Just a minute Ethel. I'll be right out.   
  
ETHEL : All right.   
  
(Ethel waits patiently, sitting down on Lucy's couch. Lucy comes into the room through the bedroom door in full bullfighter's costume.)   
  
LUCY: Good morning Ethel.   
  
ETHEL : (Not noticing Lucy's peculiar outfit) Morning Lucy.   
  
(Lucy walks behind the couch and toward the kitchen. Ethel looks at Lucy and then looks away. After a second she does a double take, noticing Lucy's outrageous toreador outfit.)   
  
ETHEL : Lucy! What are you doing dressed like that?   
  
LUCY: (Nonchalantly) Oh, you mean this. Well, it just so happens that a certain Cuban bandleader we know is taking auditions for a new Latin themed show at the Tropicana Club.   
  
ETHEL : Yeah, so?   
  
LUCY: Well, when said Bandleader sees how perfect I look in this getup, he'll tell me that I can be in his show. Besides, this early in the morning he might be so tired he won't know what he's saying.   
  
ETHEL : I know what he'll be saying- "no". Lucy, you've had some pretty crazy things before, but this one takes the cake.   
  
LUCY: Ohh..  
  
(Rustling comes from the bedroom.)   
  
LUCY: Ethel, that's him.   
  
ETHEL : I'll leave then. Good luck, kid. You're gonna need it. (Leaves through the front door)  
  
LUCY: Thanks.   
  
(Lucy runs into the kitchen. Ricky emerges from the bedroom door dressed for work. He makes his way across the Living Room and into the kitchen. Lucy greets him at the door.)   
  
LUCY: (faking a Spanish accent) Buenos Dias, mi esposo!  
  
RICKY: (Confused) What? Lucy, what are you doing dressed like that?   
  
Lucy directs Ricky to the table and helps him sit down.   
  
LUCY: What ever do you mean, mi amor. (Pours a a cup of coffe and walks to the kitchn table). Here, have some cafe to start your manana out right. (Sets cup down on the table). Ole'!  
  
Lucy steps to the center of the room and begins singing and dancing to "Cielito Lindo"  
  
LUCY: (singing off key) "De la sierra morena Viene bajando viene bajando Un par de ojitos negros Cielito lindo de contrabando"  
  
RICKY: Lucy.   
  
LUCY: (continues singing and dancing) "Ese lunar que tienes Cielito lindo junto a la boca No se lo des a nadie Cielito lindo que a mí me toca"  
  
RICKY: (louder) Lucy.   
  
LUCY: (continues singing) "Aye-Aye-yi-Yi...."  
  
RICKY: (screaming) Lucy!   
  
LUCY: (Stops singing, Speaks calmly) What?   
  
RICKY: (Firm) Lucy, I know what you're trying to do and it's not going to work.   
  
LUCY: (Pleading with Ricky) But Ricky, why can't I be in the show?   
  
RICKY: I would tell you, but I don't like to be insulting this early in the morning.   
  
LUCY: (Upset) Ricky Riccardo someday I'll be a star and when I am you'll have wished that you had put me into one of your shows just so you can say that I got my start right at your club.   
  
RICKY: Honey, the only way you would ever be a star is if Silent Pictures made a comeback.   
  
LUCY: Ohhh...  
  
RICKY: (Ricky stands up) Now honey, I've got to go or I'll be late to the club. And remember, I don't want to hear another word about you being in the show at the Tropicana, alright?  
  
LUCY: (Thinks for a second) Oh, alright. See you this evening.   
  
RICKY: Good Bye, dear.   
  
LUCY: Good bye.   
  
(Ricky walks out the kitchen into the Living Room and out the front door. Lucy sits down at the kitchen table defeated. Ethel comes in the kitchen door and walks over to Lucy.)   
  
ETHEL : I take to he didn't go for the idea.   
  
LUCY: (upset) No. You know I'm starting to think that he'll never let me be one of his shows.   
  
ETHEL : That doesn't sound like Lucy. Whatever happened to "Never give up" and "Try try again"?   
  
LUCY: That's all over now. (Dramatic) Never again will I ever attempt to be in one of Ricky's shows- (Out of spite) even if he begged me!   
  
ETHEL : Ah, Lucy. I'm sorry.   
  
LUCY: Ricky just doesn't know how much talent I've got. I'm good enough for one of his shows. (Lucy cheers up after saying that and slowly becomes excited) Yeah! In fact I'm too good for one of his shows. I belong on the stage- on Broadway!   
  
ETHEL : You? On Broadway?   
  
LUCY: Well, honey, why not? All I've got to do is audition, and when they see all the talent I've got, they'll beg me to be a part of their show.   
  
ETHEL: Oh, they'll be begging alright.  
  
LUCY: (Insulted) Well! (Sarcastically) Thanks for the support.   
  
ETHEL: I'm sorry, Lucy, but do you really think that you could get a role on Broadway?   
  
LUCY: (Walks over to the kitchen counter and picks up a newspaper) Sure, they always are looking for new talent. See right here in the paper. It says, "Famous producer Derek Nolan is looking for a beautiful, young, talented singer/ actress to be the leading lady in his new Broadway musical production."  
  
ETHEL: (Sarcastically) Oh, yes Lucy. That describes you to a 'T'.  
  
LUCY: Well, it could. Let's see, if I'm going to be a star I'll need a stage name. Something flashy fit for a leading lady, like Marilyn Monroe or something.   
  
ETHEL: Well don't use that one. They'd be very disappointed if they see that name and then have you walk in.   
  
LUCY: (thinking) Yeah... something like... Candy Kaye!  
  
ETHEL: Candy Kaye? Is that a name or a dessert?   
  
LUCY: It's perfect. Doesn't that sound like a leading lady?   
  
ETHEL: (sarcastically) Oh, yes. I can't believe no other leading lady has ever taken that name before you did.   
  
(Ethel gets up and walks over to Lucy.)   
  
LUCY: Then it's settled. Now the auditions are this afternoon at four, but just to make sure I get the role, I think that we should drop by his office around 1 or so..."  
  
ETHEL: We? Oh, no. I'm not getting myself into another one of your schemes. No thanks! (Ethel begins to walk towards the front door).   
  
LUCY: (Slyly) Alright, if that's the way you feel, but I thought that when I see Mr. Nolan that I could also introduce him to you and possibly pull some strings to get you into this production.   
  
ETHEL: (Stops still) Well... (giggle)... all right. I'll do it.   
  
LUCY: Good girl! Besides, it will be less scary with two of us.   
  
ETHEL: Yeah.   
  
LUCY: (looks at he watch) Oh, my goodness. Look at the time. It's already 10 o'clock. We've got to get started if we're going to look like leading ladies in just three hours.   
  
(Fade out) 


	2. Act One, Scene Two

I LOVE LUCY: The Broadway Play  
  
Act One, Scene Two: Derek Nolan's Office  
  
(Derek Nolan is sitting at his desk when his secretary comes on over the intercom.)   
  
SECRETARY: (Off-screen, over the intercom) Mr. Nolan, there are two actresses here to see you about your new show.   
  
NOLAN: Fine. Send them in please.   
  
(The door to the office opens and the secretary Lucy and Ethel into the room. Lucy is wearing a sleeveless dress, long gloves, a fur around her neck, sunglasses on, and wearing her hair down. They stand in front of the doorway and the secretary closes the door behind them. They stand there, just staring at Mr. Nolan.)   
  
NOLAN.: You may sit down, ladies.   
  
LUCY: (Chuckles) Oh, of course.   
  
(Lucy and Ethel walk over to the two seats in front of the desk. Lucy does everything with grace and poise as if she is imitating a movie star.)   
  
NOLAN: Now, what brings you two ladies here today?  
  
LUCY: (Cooley) Well, my name is Candy Kaye and this is my friend Ethel Mertz.   
  
ETHEL: Hello  
  
LUCY: I was interested in trying out for the lead in your new musical.   
  
NOLAN: Well, Miss, the auditions are this afternoon at four and...  
  
LUCY: Well, I was hoping to speak with you before then about the part. You see, there is another audition this afternoon and I wanted to know if I had a chance at this part or if I should take my offer from Richard and Oscar.   
  
NOLAN: (impressed) Oh! Well then! Perhaps I could be able to ask you a few questions that may be able to help you out.   
  
LUCY: All right  
  
NOLAN: (Picks up a pen and begins writing things down on a paper in front of him.) Let's see, what was you're name again, Miss?   
  
LUCY: Kaye. Candy Kaye.   
  
NOLAN: Yes, yes. Well Miss Kaye, what are your skills?   
  
LUCY: I do everything really. You see, I am an actress, a singer, a dancer..  
  
NOLAN: Very good and how old are you?  
  
LUCY: 23.   
  
NOLAN: (Takes a good look at Lucy) I'll add "comedienne" to your list of skills   
  
(Lucy is insulted at this, but manages to smile and giggle awkwardly. Ethel gives Lucy a smug look.)   
  
ETHEL: (Mockingly) Yep, that's Candy for you. A million laughs.   
  
(Lucy shoots Ethel a cruel glance.)   
  
NOLAN: Yes, now what kind of experience do you have?   
  
LUCY: Oh, I have plenty of experience. (Shoots him a big smile)  
  
NOLAN: Like what, Miss?   
  
LUCY: (Under her breath, trying to think of what to say) Yeah, what?   
  
NOLAN: Do you have a resume?  
  
LUCY: (Meekly) Well....   
  
NOLAN: I sorry them, Miss Kaye. I just don't think that you are the type we're looking for.   
  
LUCY: You don't?   
  
NOLAN: No. You see, we're looking for a big name to be the star of this production. Besides, the part is that of a Latin seniorita. We're looking for someone a bit more exotic.   
  
ETHEL: Well, are there any other parts that you still haven't cast yet?  
  
NOLAN.: No, I'm afraid this is the last role I have left to cast.   
  
ETHEL: (Disappointed, to Lucy) Oh well. We tried.   
  
LUCY: (thinking) A bigger, more exotic name?  
  
NOLAN: Yes, yes. I'm afraid so.   
  
LUCY: (An idea dawns on Lucy) Well what about Ricardo?   
  
(Ethel is shocked at this statement. Mr. is impressed.)   
  
NOLAN: (excitedly) Ricardo? As in Ricky Ricardo, the famous bandleader?   
  
LUCY: No, I mean Mrs. Ricardo, Ricky Ricardo's wife.   
  
ETHEL: (gasp)  
  
NOLAN.: Really?   
  
LUCY: Yes, I actually happen to know her personally, don't I Ethel. (hinting for Ethel to back her story up)  
  
ETHEL: (Trying to recover from the shock) Err.. uhhh...yes. You could say they're very close.   
  
NOLAN: Well, the wife of a famous performer would be just perfect for this role. Is she very popular?   
  
LUCY: Is she popular?! (laughs) You must be joking! Everyone just loves her!  
  
ETHEL: Yeah. Lots of people have been following her career. I know my husband is always saying "What in the world is that Lucy doing now."   
  
NOLAN: You mean to say that her name is Lucy? That doesn't seem very Latin.   
  
LUCY: Well, it's short for Lucita.   
  
NOLAN: Ahh.. and she's just perfect for the role of a Spanish senorita?   
  
LUCY: Oh, perfect. That's the kind of role she was born to play.   
  
NOLAN: Well then, that's all that I need to hear. (Calls his secretary over the intercom) Would you please cancel the auditions for the lead that were to be this afternoon? And tell my agent that my new lead will be Lucita Ricardo- wife of the famous bandleader Ricky Ricardo. (turns to Lucy and Ethel) Thank you ladies for your time. You have been a great help.   
  
LUCY: (excited) Thank you, sir. Thank you so much.   
  
(Lucy and Ethel get up. Lucy shakes Mr. Nolan's hand.)   
  
(fades out.) 


	3. Act Two, Scene One

I LOVE LUCY: The Broadway Play  
  
Act Two, Scene One: The Ricardo's Apartment  
  
(Lucy and Ethel are sitting on the couch, with their hands on their chins and their elbows on their knees, thinking. Ethel turns her head to look at Lucy.)   
  
ETHEL: Well, you've finally done it. You've gotten into show business, now how are you going to be in that show without Mr. Nolan recognizing you?  
  
LUCY: Well, it was my only shot to get that part to say that I was an exotic Latin starlet. I just couldn't resist.   
  
ETHEL: Well what are you going to do?   
  
LUCY: I don't know, but I've got to think of something.   
  
ETHEL: Yeah.   
  
LUCY: Hey! The black wig from Ricky's Latin show!   
  
ETHEL: What about it?   
  
LUCY: It's perfect!   
  
ETHEL: What's perfect? Lucy, what's going on in that little brain of yours?   
  
LUCY: Mr. Nolan is expecting some beautiful Latin girl, right.   
  
ETHEL: Yeah. So?   
  
LUCY: Well, when I arrive at the first rehearsal that's just what he'll get.   
  
ETHEL: Oh, no Lucy, You don't mean that you're going to go in wearing that wig and expect him to think that you're Latin. There's more than just dark hair. What about an accent?   
  
LUCY: Ethel, After 13 years of being married to Ricky, I think I can manage to fake a Spanish accent.   
  
ETHEL: Still, won't he recognize you from seeing you this morning?  
  
LUCY: All he saw was a glamorous redhead wearing dark sunglasses. One look at me in that wig and with my accent and he would never recognize me.   
  
ETHEL: Well where is this wig?   
  
LUCY: (getting off the couch and making her way to the bedroom door with Ethel following her) In the closet in Ricky's costume trunk. Come on. I'll show you  
  
ETHEL: All right.   
  
(Lucy and Ethel walk into the bedroom. As soon as they are gone, Ricky enters the Living Room door, putting his hat on the hat rack. )  
  
RICKY: Lucy. I'm home.   
  
(Ricky looks around for Lucy, but can't find her.)   
  
RICKY: Lucy?   
  
(Ricky hears the noise of Lucy and Ethel opening the trunk in the bedroom and curiously starts heading toward the door. Just before he gets close to the bedroom door, Fred walks in.)   
  
FRED: Hey, Rick.   
  
RICKY: (walks towards Fred) Oh, Hi Fred. What are you doing here?   
  
FRED: I'm here to fix your sink remember?   
  
RICKY: Oh, yeah. I had forgot. (Changing the subject) You haven't seen Lucy anywhere around, have you?   
  
FRED: (Thinking) Lucy? No, can't say that I have.   
  
RICKY: Well, what about Ethel?   
  
FRED: I think she's in our apartment. Why else do you think I'm here?   
  
RICKY: (Laughs) Alright. I think I'll go ask her if she's seen Lucy.   
  
FRED: Alright. See ya, Rick.   
  
(Ricky leaves out the front door. Fred ducks down under the sink and begins fixing it. As soon as they are out of view, Lucy and Ethel come out of the bedroom door, Lucy wearing a long black wig.)  
  
ETHEL: You're right Lucy. He'd never recognize you in that.   
  
LUCY: (Faking a Spanish accent) Oh, no Senora. I dunt think he will.   
  
ETHEL: (Laughs) Ha-Ha! That's perfect!   
  
RICKY: (Off-stage): Lucy? Lucy where are you?   
  
LUCY: (whispering) Ricky! The Trunk!   
  
ETHEL: (Gasps)  
  
LUCY: We've got to put that trunk away and fast!   
  
(Lucy and Ethel run into the bedroom. As soon as they are out of site. Fred pops up from behind the sink and Ricky comes in the front door.)  
  
RICKY: Well, now Ethel's missing too.   
  
FRED: Say, that's the best news I've heard all day.   
  
RICKY: Well, they've got to be somewhere. Maybe they're out shopping or somethin'.   
  
FRED: Now that you mention it, I did overhear Ethel say that she and Lucy were going somewhere this afternoon. (goes back under the sink and continues working)  
  
RICKY: You'd think that they would be back by now.  
  
(Ricky goes to the closet, opens the door and hangs his coat in the closet, while he is doing this, Lucy and Ethel come out of the bedroom, not noticing Ricky in the closet. Ricky does not notice Lucy and Ethel either and continues hanging up his coat. Lucy and Ethel walk past the closet.)  
  
LUCY: (looking around) Oh, maybe that wasn't Ricky after all.   
  
RICKY: (Still hanging his coat up) Lucy, honey? Is that you?   
  
LUCY: Yes, dear, it's me.   
  
ETHEL: (Noticing that Lucy is still wearing the black wig, speaking softly so Ricky won't hear her but still with intensity) Lucy! The Wig!  
  
(Lucy rips the wig off her head and then looks around, trying to figure out where to hide it Before she can do anything with it, Ricky closes the door and comes toward her.)  
  
RICKY: Hello, Lucy.   
  
LUCY (Hiding the Wig behind her back and running toward Ricky) Ricky, darling! (She puts an arm around him and gives him a big kiss. While doing this she uses her other arm to toss the wig to Ethel, who is standing near the kitchen counter)  
  
(Ethel catches the wig and tosses it into the sink and down the garbage disposal. Ricky and Lucy finish kissing.)  
  
RICKY: (Happy) Well, that was a nice hello. (Noticing Ethel) Oh, hello Ethel.   
  
ETHEL: Hi, Rick. (Starts making her way to the door) I was just leaving. G'Bye Lucy.   
  
LUCY: Bye, Ethel.   
  
(Ethel leaves through the front door.)  
  
RICKY: What's her hurry?   
  
LUCY: Who knows. You know Ethel.   
  
RICKY: Yeah.   
  
LUCY: Well, if you'll excuse me, I'll be right back.   
  
RICKY: Alright, honey.   
  
(Lucy walks into the bedroom.)  
  
FRED: (under the sink) Well, Rick, I think I found your problem.   
  
RICKY: (Walks over to the kitchen counter) Really, what is it Fred?  
  
FRED: (Coming out from under the sink covered in shredded black hair) Well, it seems like your drain was all clogged with hair.   
  
RICKY: (Shocked) What? How did all that hair get into the sink?   
  
FRED: Well I can assure you it isn't mine.   
  
LUCY: (Walks out at the bedroom and is shocked when she sees Fred) Why, Fred! What happened? (Jokingly) I haven't seen that much hair on your head in years. (Laughs)  
  
FRED: (Sarcastically) Very funny.   
  
RICKY: (Walking over to Lucy) Lucy, how did all that hair get into that sink.   
  
LUCY: That hair?  
  
RICKY: Yes, Lucy how did it get into out sink?   
  
LUCY: (Hesitates for a second) Through the hole in the top?   
  
RICKY: (Losing his temper): Lucy!   
  
LUCY: Well, I didn't do it- honest.   
  
RICKY: Is that the truth?   
  
LUCY: Cross my heart. (She draws an 'X' on her chest with her finger)  
  
RICKY: Alright, dear. If you say so.   
  
LUCY: Well, I do. I do.   
  
(Fade out) 


	4. Act Two, Scene Two

I LOVE LUCY: The Broadway Play  
  
Act Two, Scene Two: The Ricardo's Apartment/ Derek Nolan's Office  
  
(Lucy is talking on the phone, standing in sitting in a chair next to the phone. While she's talking, Ethel comes in carrying a bag.)   
  
LUCY: Yes, Caroline dear, it's true. I'm going to be the star of Derek Nolan's next big Broadway play! Yes, it is very exciting! Well, of course I can get you tickets to opening night. Uh-huh. (Notices Ethel) Oh, Caroline, I'm afraid I have to go. I'll call you tomorrow. Goodbye. (To Ethel) That was Caroline.   
  
ETHEL: I could tell. (Sitting down on the couch)  
  
LUCY: Yes, I just thought everyone should know what a big star I'm going to be.   
  
ETHEL: Everyone? What about Ricky?   
  
LUCY: Well he doesn't need to know right away.   
  
ETHEL: Well, when were you planning on telling him?   
  
LUCY: I was planning bringing him to opening night and having him figure it out as soon as the curtain rises.   
  
ETHEL: Lucy, Ricky'll figure it before then. He always does.   
  
LUCY: Well, there's got to be a way of keeping him from finding out.   
  
ETHEL: (Pulling a black wig out of the bag) Oh, I almost forgot. I got you the new wig.   
  
LUCY: Oh Ethel, it's just perfect.   
  
ETHEL: Yeah.   
  
(The phone rings)   
  
LUCY: Oh, I'll get it.   
  
LUCY: (Lucy pick up the phone) Hello?   
  
NOLAN: (Scene changes to show him sitting at his desk in his office and talking on the phone) Hello. Is Mrs. Ricardo there. This is Derek Nolan and I would like to talk to her about her taking a role in my new show.   
  
LUCY: (Scene now shows Lucy on the phone, speaks hesitantly) Uhh.. ummm.. Yes she's in. I'll get her.   
  
ETHEL: Lucy, who is it?  
  
LUCY: (Tries to quiet Ethel so she can not be heard over the phone.) Shhhh... (Lucy waits a few seconds, picks up the phone again and speaks with Spanish accent) Hello, this is Mrs. Ricardo speaking.   
  
NOLAN: (In his office) Hello, this is Derek Nolan. I'm producing a new musical on Broadway and there was an actress in here yesterday that said that you would just be perfect for the part.   
  
LUCY: (In the apartment) Really? That's so nice. What kindova part is it?   
  
NOLAN: (In his office) A Spanish senorita. The romantic lead.   
  
LUCY: (In the apartment) Oh, I thin' that would be wonderful.   
  
NOLAN: (In his office) Ahhh... so glad you think so. I would like to see you this evening to kind of go over the part with you, if you don't mind.   
  
LUCY: (In the apartment) Oh, no. No I dun thin' that will be any trouble atall.   
  
NOLAN: (In his office) Good. Good, I'll see you this evening at your apartment?   
  
LUCY: (In the apartment) Yes, that'll be fine. Thank you.   
  
NOLAN.: (Off screen over Lucy's phone) See you then.   
  
LUCY: Good Bye (hangs up the phone). Well, Ethel, that was Mr. Nolan. He's coming over this evening to go over the part with me.   
  
ETHEL: He's coming here? How will you keep Ricky from knowing?   
  
LUCY: Ricky will be performing at the club tonight. He'll never know.   
  
(Fade Out) 


	5. Act Two, Scene Three

I LOVE LUCY: The Broadway Play  
  
Act Two, Scene Three: The Tropicana  
  
(Ricky is practicing a number with his orchestra after finishing the song, he turns to the band.)  
  
RICKY: That's good, boys. Take a break.   
  
(Ricky begins to walk off the stage when Jerry, his agent, meets him there, holding a newspaper.)   
  
JERRY: Hey, Ricky. Ricky.   
  
RICKY: Hey, Jerry. What is it?   
  
JERRY: Why didn't you tell me about your wife's celebrity status? Something like that could be great publicity for the club.   
  
RICKY: What? My wife?   
  
JERRY: Yeah Lucy. She's going to be the star of a Broadway musical.   
  
RICKY: That can't be my Lucy.   
  
JERRY: (Handing Ricky the newspaper) See for yourself.   
  
RICKY: (Takes the newspaper and begins reading it) "Broadway will be shinning bright when Derek Nolan's newest musical production "The Golden Goose" will premiere in New York latter this year. Cast in the lead will be exotic beauty Lucita Ricardo, wife of famous bandleader Ricky Ricardo".   
  
  
  
JERRY: Say, I never knew her name was Lucita.   
  
RICKY: It isn't. It must be a mistake. Unless....  
  
JERRY: Unless what?   
  
RICKY: Unless this is another one of Lucy's hair-brained schemes to get herself into show business.   
  
JERRY: You think so?   
  
RICKY: It must be. And if it is, we can be sure with Lucy in the lead, "The Golden Goose" is sure to lay a big egg.   
  
(A man comes up to Ricky with a telephone.)   
  
MAN: Telephone for Ricky Ricardo.   
  
RICKY: (To the man) Thank you. (Takes the phone) Hello?   
  
FRED: (Off-screen) Hello, Rick? This is Fred.   
  
RICKY: Fred, what's going on?   
  
FRED: (In his apartment) I just got some news from old blabsy-mouth Ethel. It turns out that Lucy has gotten a role in a Broadway play.   
  
RICKY: (In the club) Yeah, I saw that just now in the paper.   
  
FRED: (In his apartment) That's just the beginning. It turns out that she got the whole role without even auditioning because Lucy told Derek Nolan that she was an exotic Latin actress so to get the part, she's been wearin' a wig and talking in a fake accent.   
  
RICKY: (Off screen) No kiddin?   
  
FRED: Yes, and to top it all off, he's coming to your apartment tonight to go over the role.   
  
RICKY: (In the club, laughing) Oh, I wouldn't miss that for the world. Thanks Fred. (hangs up phone, hands it back to the man and the man walks offstage. Ricky turns to Jerry) Jerry, I want tonight's show at the club to be cancelled. I'm dunt want to miss this.   
  
(Fade Out) 


	6. Act Three, Scene One

I LOVE LUCY: The Broadway Play  
  
Act Three, Scene One: The Ricardo's Apartment  
  
(Lucy and Ricky are sitting on the couch reading.)   
  
LUCY: (Looks at her watch). Oh, Ricky. Look at the time. If you don't leave soon you're going to be late for the show.   
  
RICKY: Didn't I tell you? I'm not goin' dear.   
  
LUCY: (shocked) You're not? Well, why not?   
  
RICKY: Well, I just thought that the new show could use a bit more rehearsal so I cancelled tonight's performance.   
  
LUCY: (Upset) Oh no, Ricky! You shouldn't have done that! You just go right back down there and do that show.   
  
RICKY: Now, honey, I can't. It's all taken care of. The show will start tomorrow night and we have the whole evening to ourselves. Isn't that nice honey?   
  
LUCY: (Trying to fake that she is happy about that) Yes. Yes, that's wonderful.   
  
(The doorbell rings)  
  
RICKY: (Getting up) I'll get it dear.   
  
LUCY: (Getting up and running towards the door) No, no. I'll get it.   
  
(Lucy opens the door a crack to see who it is and then closes it.)   
  
RICKY: Who is that at the door, dear?  
  
LUCY: Who? It's.. uhh.. Ethel. She wants to borrow my stole for the evening.   
  
RICKY: Oh, well then you'd better get it for her.   
  
LUCY: Could you get if for me Ricky. It's in the closet in the bedroom way in the back.   
  
RICKY: Alright, dear.   
  
(Ricky leaves. Lucy frantically runs to the desk, throws open a drawer, pulls out the wig, throws it on her head, runs to the door and opens it, letting Derek Nolan in, who is carrying a briefcase with him.)   
  
LUCY: (Faking Spanish accent) Oh, hello Mr. Nolan. How very nice to see you.   
  
NOLAN: Yes, and I would just like to say what a pleasure it is to meet you.   
  
LUCY: Oh, thank you. Thank you. Won't you come in?   
  
NOLAN: Yes, thank you.   
  
(The come in and sit down on the couch.)   
  
LUCY: (Reaching for a pack of cigarettes) Would you care for a cigarette?   
  
NOLAN: No, no thank you. I think we'd better just get right down to business.   
  
LUCY: (Putting the pack down on the table) Alright.   
  
RICKY: (Off-screen) Lucy?   
  
NOLAN: What was that?   
  
LUCY: Uhhh.. that must have been the butler. (To Ricky) Just a minute please. (To Mr. Nolan)Please excuse me. (Lucy runs out of the room. As soon as she reaches the bedroom, she rips off her wig and throws it under the bed.)  
  
RICKY: (walking out of Lucy's closet, holding Lucy's stole) Is this the stole that Ethel wanted?   
  
LUCY: (In her normal voice) No. No that's not it at all. It's the one way in the back back there. (Points into the closet)  
  
RICKY: All the way back there?   
  
LUCY: Yes, would you please get it for me, dear.   
  
RICKY: Alright. (Goes back in)  
  
(As soon as Ricky's out of site, Lucy reaches under the bed, pulls out the wig, puts it on her head, runs back out and sits down next to Mr. Nolan.)  
  
NOLAN: Is everything alright?   
  
LUCY (Sitting back down on the couch and, again, faking a Spanish Accent) Oh, yes. Everythin' is just fine.   
  
NOLAN: Good. (Pulls out a script from his briefcase) Now, I have here your script. (Hands it to her)  
  
LUCY: (Overjoyed) My script! Oh, that's wonderful!  
  
NOLAN: Yes, now...  
  
RICKY: (Off-screen) Lucy?  
  
NOLAN: That sounds like your butler again.   
  
LUCY: Yes. Yes, I think is it. Please excuse me.   
  
(Lucy again leaves ripping of her wig and stuffing it under the bed before Ricky sees her. Ricky is holding a different stole now when he steps into the bedroom.)  
  
RICKY: Is this the one?   
  
LUCY: (In her normal voice) Well, Ethel just came by and said she didn't need it anyway. Could you please pit it back?   
  
RICKY: Why dunt you put it back and I'll wait out into the Living Room?  
  
LUCY: No!   
  
RICKY: Why not?   
  
LUCY: I'm your wife. Don't you want to do nice little things like you did for me when we were first married anymore?   
  
RICKY: Well, I..  
  
LUCY: Then it's settled. You put it back and I'll wait in the Living Room.   
  
RICKY: Alright, dear. (Ricky walks back in)  
  
LUCY: (Gets the wig out from under the bed, puts it on and goes back out to the Living Room and sits back down on the couch, faking a Spanish accent) Now, where were we?   
  
NOLAN: We were just about to begin going over the script.   
  
LUCY: Oh! Good. (Picks up her script)  
  
NOLAN: You see, in this play, your part is that of a lovely Spanish senorita.   
  
LUCY: Oh, that's very good.   
  
NOLAN: Yes, and in the play you meet a young foreign boy from America and fall in love.   
  
LUCY: Ohhh.... that's very sweet.   
  
NOLAN: And at the end of the play, you die.   
  
LUCY: Yes... (Just realizing what he just said) die?   
  
NOLAN: Yes, it's a very tragic ending.   
  
LUCY: Yeah. Especially for me.   
  
NOLAN: Well, the death scene is one of the signature scenes in the play. Very dramatic. I was wondering if we could go over that scene first.   
  
LUCY: Oh, yes... let's see. (Reading the script loudly and somewhat poorly) "Oh, how my poor heart breaks!"   
  
NOLAN: Quieter, Mrs. Ricardo, quieter! You're dying.   
  
LUCY: Oh, yes, of course. (quieter, but with the same intensity) "Oh, how my poor heart breaks." Was that any better?   
  
NOLAN: Yes. That was fine.   
  
LUCY: Oh good. "Oh how my poor heart breaks when I think that this is the end of it all."   
  
RICKY: (walks in) Lucy.   
  
LUCY: (In normal voice) This is the end, alright.  
  
RICKY: (In a tone as if pretending to be surprised) Lucy, you didn't tell me that Mr. Nolan was coming over this evening. (To Mr. Nolan) It's a pleasure to meet you.   
  
NOLAN: It's a pleasure to meet you too. I've seen your shows at the Tropicana many times.   
  
RICKY: Well, thank you. So I hear my little Lucita is going to be the star of her own Broadway musical.   
  
NOLAN: Yes, if fact, we were just going over her big scene right now, weren't we Mrs. Ricardo?   
  
LUCY: Uhh... (Faking a Spanish accent) si si.   
  
NOLAN: Alright, Mrs. Ricardo, let's take it from the top.   
  
LUCY: (Reading the script somewhat poorly but dramatically) "Oh how my poor heart breaks when I think that this is the end of it all. To think of what could have been. I love you. But now, I must go." How was I?   
  
NOLAN: Well, you'll get better. Now, after that last line, you break out into a touching song in which you say good bye to your lover and proclaim your love to him.   
  
LUCY: Oh, that's so romantic.   
  
NOLAN: Yes, I thought we would try to go through that now. (Pulling some sheet music from his briefcase and handing some to Ricky) Mr. Ricardo, would you mind playing the piano for us.   
  
RICKY: Not atall. Anything for my little Lucita. (Gives Lucy a teasing look. Walks over to the piano and sits down)  
  
NOLAN: (Handing the rest of the sheet music to Lucy) And here is your part.   
  
LUCY: Oh thank you.   
  
NOLAN: And now, Mr. Ricardo whenever you're ready.   
  
RICKY: Alright. (Begins to play a strong ballad on the piano)  
  
LUCY: (singing, begins on a screeching high note) "Ohhhhh...." (The note is dreadfully out of pitch and Lucy tries to find it. She does and smiles and nods at Mr. Nolan,very pleased with herself. She still sings poorly and out of key, her pitch falling flat at the end of every line.)  
  
"Ohhhhhh, Farewelllllll, Farewell my loooove  
  
The Time has coooome  
  
This is goodbye  
  
Farewelllllll, farewell my loooooove  
  
The day is heeeeeere  
  
Now I Must dieeeeee  
  
I wiiish it could be different  
  
But I knooooooow that this is truuuuue  
  
So, goodbye, farewell to yoooooou  
  
(Ricky and Mr. Nolan wince at the sound of Lucy's singing. As the song continues, Lucy becomes more dramatic with her gestures until her performance borders on being absolutly rediculous)  
  
LUCY: "I looooook into your eyeeeeees   
  
And I just duuuuunt   
  
Know what to saaaaay  
  
Exeeeept, it's you I looooove  
  
I loved more moooore with every daaay  
  
And noooow for the last time  
  
I tell you that it's true  
  
That I.....  
  
Love...  
  
Yooooooou!" (Hits a high and very out of key note on "You" and then drops down to a lower note. She finishes the note and falls to the ground. Mr. Nolan and Ricky look on with shock. Lucy gets up, brushes herself off and looks eagerly at Mr. Nolan. Speaking, with a Spanish accent) Well how was I?   
  
NOLAN: (Surprise) Is that how you sing?   
  
LUCY: Yeah.   
  
NOLAN: Well if you sing like that in the show you really are going to die- on the stage.   
  
LUCY: You mean you don't like it?   
  
NOLAN: I'm sorry, but I just don't think this part's for you. (Picks up his briefcase and heads for the door)  
  
LUCY: (Following him, In her normal voice) Well I can do it differently. (Singing still out of tune and screechy at a faster tempo following him the door) "Farewelllllll, farewell my loooove The time has coooome..."  
  
NOLAN: (At door, interupting her) I'm very sorry Mrs. Ricardo. Good night. (He leaves and shuts the door behind him.   
  
LUCY: (Upset) Ohhhh.... (Walks to the couch, sits down, and begins to cry)  
  
RICKY: (Coming over to Lucy) Oh, Lucy, honey. Dunt cry. You know I hate it when you cry.   
  
LUCY: (Crying) Well I can't help it. He said I wasn't right for the part. I'll never get a role on Broadway,   
  
RICKY: (Sitting down next to her) I don't know about Broadway, but I know that I love you in your role as my lovely, beautiful, and adorable wife.   
  
LUCY: (Happy, but still with tears in her eyes) Oh Ricky! (She puts her arms around him and they kiss.)   
  
(Fade Out)  
  
The End 


End file.
